


Don't Worry, I Won't Tell

by lovelywaterbuffaloes



Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Blitzen is so in love, Blitzen thinks his love is unrequited, Blitzstone, I'm Sorry, M/M, Pining, Self-Hatred, angst af i swear, blitzen is pining after hearthstone, i may write a follow up fic idk, mentions of dead family members, my poor child he deserves better, ratatosk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 22:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5944737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelywaterbuffaloes/pseuds/lovelywaterbuffaloes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He heard Ratatosk before he saw him, the intensity of his battle cry so sharp it stung his ears. Blitz spun around, the mantra of all too knowing insults slamming into him with a force strong and unbreakable and evil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Worry, I Won't Tell

**Author's Note:**

> Basically Chapter 36 told from Blitzen's perspective. You can probably tell what line inspired this. 
> 
> No, I don't own any of these characters (obviously). Everything in this work, even the plot, belongs to Rick Riordan. Now that that's out of the way, enjoy!

Blitzen looked down, and wished he hadn’t. Miles of threatening branches descending into a foggy abyss were awaiting him. All he had to do was slip.

It’s not like this was his first experience climbing the World Tree, not by far. He’d explored its branches many times before. But it never ceased to frighten him whenever he actually tuned in, the sheer depth of the universe making him dizzy.

Nidavellir had to be around here somewhere, he was sure. Even though it’d been a long time since he last visited his home, he could still sense the familiar atmosphere. An atmosphere that reminded him of rejection and Junior’s cruel taunting after his father’s death. Blitzen dreaded having to go back, having to ask that old bag of bones a damn favor, but what other choice did he have? His friends depended upon him to make this work and get a reinforcement rope to bind the Wolf. He’d have to dampen his pride, just this once.

When Magnus pointed to a portal, claiming it to be the World of the Dwarves, Blitz was skeptical. How could he not be? Nidavellir was dark and earthy and most definitely _not_ like whatever place lay behind that glowing entrance.

Blitzen turned around to say something, but was immediately cut short when he saw his best friend stumble and fall back into the sticky mass of lichen. “Hearth!” he shouted, panic instantly filling his chest. He frantically scrambled over to the trapped elf, his heart beating faster than Fenris Wolf. If Hearthstone had swayed just a little bit to the right, he would’ve avoided the lichen and fallen off his branch and then… Blitzen tried not to think about that. The mere thought of losing Hearth made him want to curl up and sob. He couldn’t lose him. Not now, not ever.

The dwarf pulled at his arms, but the lichen was thick and refused to let him go. Blitzen hopelessly listened to Magnus and Sam speculating on how to free him, and that’s when they heard it: the awful, poisonous cry of the Squirrel. His blood ran cold.

“Ratatosk! That damnable squirrel _always_ appears at the worst time. Hurry up with those blades!” he told them, noticing he’d been clutching Hearth’s hand the entire time. He didn’t let it go.

 _GO! Leave me_ , Hearthstone signed. Blitzen felt angry now. Angry at Yggdrasil for growing stupid lichen, angry at Ratatosk, and angry at his best friend for valuing his own life so little. How many years of convincing would it take for Blitz to finally make him understand how much he cared about him? How much he loved him with every ounce of his being?

Samirah started explaining to Magnus that her hijab could only camouflage two people, and that they’d have to separate if they wanted to be safe. Blitzen’s heart sank. He didn’t want to leave Hearth behind, especially with that Helheim-spawn just a few moments away. But he knew he had to. It was the only way to keep Hearthstone safe. He would do anything for him.

Sam took off her green hijab, its shielding properties activating as it started to blend in with the wooden landscape. They heard the screech of the Squirrel again, and Blitzen knew: it was time to go. He looked back at his best friend, the sadness in his heart threatening to make him breakdown. There was a very real possibility he’d never look into those misty grey eyes ever again. He would die with Hearth never knowing how he felt about him.

 _She’s right. Go_ , Hearthstone signed to them just before the hijab covered the pair, his face instantly vanishing. Blitzen took a deep breath and stood up, tugging at his friend’s arm. “Magnus, it’s now or never.”

He heard Ratatosk before he saw him, the intensity of his battle cry so sharp it stung his ears. Blitz spun around, the mantra of all-too-knowing insults slamming into him with a force strong and unbreakable and evil.

_You are a failure._

_No one accepts you._

_You bring your dead father shame._

_He wouldn’t want a son like you._

_That’s why he went off and got slaughtered; to get away from you._

Blitzen felt like he was being stabbed over and over and over with a blade dipped in poison, and no matter what he did it wouldn’t stop. He could feel tears in his eyes. Where was he again? What day was it? Did it even matter?

_So pathetic._

_I know what you were thinking before I arrived._

_I know the secret you try so desperately to hide._

_Don’t worry, I won’t tell._

_The elf will never love you anyway._

Blitz’s breathing was ragged. They had to jump in. They had to get away before the Squirrel tore them apart. He looked down at the boy curled up in the fetal position, hating himself for not getting Magnus out of here before he had the chance to listen to the plagued words of Ratatosk.

_It’s true, and we both know it._

_Why would Hearthstone want someone like you?_

_He will never, ever return your feelings._

_He’d be disgusted with you if you ever told him._

_You’ll probably be the one to bring his demise, you know._

_You’ll fail to protect him, just like you fail at everything else._

_His death will be your fault._

_Everything is your fault._

_Why are you even alive?_

Blitzen gripped Magnus’ arm. “NOW, KID!” With a final breath, they jumped in.

Several minutes later, they were standing in an open field, foreign yet familiar sunlight washing over their skin. Blitzen grimaced, immediately recognizing where they had fallen into. Add visiting Freya to the list of bad things to happen today. He thought of Hearthstone, of Ratatosk, and he felt like crying all over again.

“Blitz, your hat!” he heard Magnus shout, obviously worried about the dwarf turning to stone. He shook his head, turning to face him.

“It’s okay, kid. This isn’t regular sunlight. We’re not on Midgard anymore,” he said mournfully, trying not to let the pain consuming him to enter his voice. He failed, but Magnus didn’t question him. He obviously had to deal with the cry of Ratatosk as well. Neither of them wanted to discuss the things they’d heard inside their heads when they were ambushed.  

Blitzen wanted to forget about the experience all together, but he answered Magnus’ questions anyway. The kid deserved to know what he’d just faced, and that he wasn’t alone in feeling vulnerable and broken. Still, the sooner they hurried up with their mission and got back to Sam and Hearth, the better.

“How did you keep your wits?” Magnus asked him. “When the Squirrel barked, what did you hear?”

Blitzen swallowed hard, replaying everything Ratatosk had told him. He thought about his dead father, and how he brought him nothing but shame. He thought about the dwarves from Nidavellir, and how they did nothing but mock his dream. But above all, he thought about Hearthstone. Beautiful Hearth. The one who had helped Blitzen crawl out of his depression by simply being his friend. The one who made him feel like he was burning up a fever with nothing but a small smile. The one Blitzen had sworn to protect at all possible costs. The only person Blitzen had ever been in love with. Real love, desperate and aching and magical. And unrequited.

“Nothing I don’t tell myself all the time, kid. We should get going.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! If you did, I'd appreciate it if you left kudos and possibly a comment. you can also leave me prompts at my tumblr: lovelywaterbuffaloes


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